How to: keep going when things are going wrong.

I sat down to write this and then promptly stared off into space for a few minutes.

What on EARTH do I know about giving advice like this?

I recently learned a little something about it and thought it might help you too.

There is so much that I share on social media- this has become my virtual diary of sorts. I share the highs and low- the big, the small and everything in between. I’ll be honest and say it feels really easy to do most days. I am not afraid to talk about having hard days or when things are better than I imagined. There’s plenty that goes on behind the scenes too- we aren’t supposed to show all of our cards, right?

The honest truth: August was a struggle for me. I finally said it out loud during my therapy session in early September. I had a lot of “plans and goals” that I wanted to have met and when I look back- I had hardly met any of them. I sat with this list of good intensions and felt like an absolute failure. My brand/business didn’t expand like I had hoped it would. I was passed over for a promotion with little to know explanation why. I didn’t meet the financial goals was determined to achieve. I hadn’t magically slimmed down overnight and ate way more treats than I normally do. The weight of the pandemic finally started to hit me- 5 months into it. It just felt like a lot.

As I sat in my Skype session with her (my therapist), she looked at me with a half smile like she often does. The kind where you know the words are about to spill out of their mouth but they are holding the words behind this… half smile.

So what?

I looked at her as if I was robbed of some sort of magic that would undo the past 30 days.

You keep going. You had a bad month. You start over. You know that saying “when your car has 4 tires and 1 pops- would you pop all of them just because of the 1?” no- that would be dumb.

She wasn’t going to fix August because- she couldn’t and neither could I. I am the type of person who need to control a situation and I couldn’t control it. I found comfort in just letting it all go. She was right- like she is about so many things. Allowing ourselves to be human and imperfect is the best thing we can do. Beating ourselves up over things we cannot change is literally useless. Instead of being scolded or having someone save me from my own mess- I was taught to look at it for what it was and to move on.

The truth is- there isn’t some sort of magic fix or life changing advice. You just keep going. You forgive yourself or, whoever you need to forgive in order to move on. Make peace with your short comings or in some cases, with the way someone else let you down and know that the only place to go is up from here.

The next time you have a bad day, week, month or even a year- though I wouldn’t wish any of that on you- just know that it isn’t a bad life. We are bound to make mistakes along the way and being human means dealing with the unpleasant things life will throw at you.

It’s all just temporary- keep going.

With September nearly half over- am I any further along? Yes.

Am I doing things perfectly now? Absolutely not but, I look back on August and feel pretty thankful for what it taught me.

Until next time,

xoxo

* Incase you are in need of a therapist in your area, check out: http://www.psychologytoday.com

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